Passion – This is what gives you boundless energy and motivation that is connected to your purpose. Directing your energy to what makes you feel alive will be the motivation you need to continue on this journey and what others will be attracted to. This will be your greatest selling point.
Think about a person who is passionate about their purpose – May be a business leader, athlete, performer, spiritual leader, teacher, adult role model –
· what qualities do they possess,
· how do they show up,
· what do they do day in/day out?
There seems to be misconceptions about the meaning of passion – I think sometimes people picture that vivacious, outgoing, charismatic (or as my kids say, riz!) all-over-the-news type of people.
But passion also includes those that are humble, those who servant leaders, possess high emotional intelligence, quiet, behind the scenes, at it every day of the week making it happen kind of person.
Both are correct as there are no right or wrong answers.
I have attempted to make the most of my commutes (about 80-100 miles round trip) over the last 10 years and listen to audio books. I have estimated that I have listened to approximately 300 books. I really enjoy biographies and autobiographies about people from a myriad of industries and walks of life. From these books, I have garnered the following common qualities and characteristics of those who demonstrate deep passion:
1. Student of the business – learn everything – trends, customers, how to get paid, touchpoints of the customer experience, customer life cycle, handoffs, how it all fits together. Perfecting your craft.
2. Full teacup analogy –
Once upon a time, there was a wise Zen master. People traveled from far away to seek his help. In return, he would teach them and show them the way to enlightenment.
On this particular day, a scholar came to visit the master for advice. “I have come to ask you to teach me about Zen,” the scholar said.
Soon, it became obvious that the scholar was full of his own opinions and knowledge. He interrupted the master repeatedly with his own stories and failed to listen to what the master had to say. The master calmly suggested that they should have tea.
So the master poured his guest a cup. The cup was filled, yet he kept pouring until the cup overflowed onto the table, onto the floor, and finally onto the scholar’s robes. The scholar cried “Stop! The cup is full already. Can’t you see?”
“Exactly,” the Zen master replied with a smile. “You are like this cup — so full of ideas that nothing more will fit in. Come back to me with an empty cup.”
3. Learner Mindset v. Judger Mindset
Judger Mindsets are: protective, judgmental, cynical, critical, close-minded, know-it-all, blame oriented, black or white, limited possibilities, view mistakes as "bad", primary energy - restrictive.
Learner Mindsets are: curious, accepting, open-minded, comfortable with not knowing, questioning of assumptions, see unlimited possibilities, non-judgmental - primary energy - expansive.
4. Setting up a continuous development and learning plans
a. How to get latest trends, technologies and opportunities
b. Conferences, webinars, etc.
c. Networking/informational interviews – research example here – David Geffen
5. Teaching/mentoring others – give their time freely, are open to situations and relationships where they can share their knowledge and are seen as mentors in their organizations.
6. Learning from others – 360 degree mentorship – my daughter/son
7. How they focus every single day – put in the work – practice after the tournament/game/project is over – I have read about pro athletes who will hit another 100 balls right after a big tournament or the quarterback who will throw another 100 passes right after the big game to correct any difficulties that they had right during the round/game.
A big part of my coaching certification program focused on energy leadership.
· Energy Leadership – share iPEC levels of energy – quick quiz – post in resources
Level 1: Lack of choice. Victim energy. I can't. ...
Level 2: Anger. Combativeness. ...
Level 3: Rationalizing. Fine. ...
Level 4: Care. Compassion. ...
Level 5: Reconciliation. Win-win. ...
Level 6: Intuition. Creative genius. ...
Level 7: Complete passion for all aspects of life. Oneness.
· Depending on where you resonate, there are things to be on the lookout for that may be a barrier to your energy and passion.
So what zaps your passion/energy?
Many times (and I am guilty of this) we focus on other people and external situations. While these dynamics are very frustrating and hard to deal with, these are our greatest teachers. These encounters provide us opportunities to look within and really question, “what about this is so triggering for me? Through my masters program and coaching training, it typically comes back to the work of one of my favorite psychologists, Dr. Albert Ellis. He is best known for his theory of Rational Emotive Therapy or RET. He uses the following example to describe his theory – pregnant woman. ABC model.
According to Ellis, these are other common irrational assumptions :
1. The idea that it is a dire necessity for adults to be loved by significant others for almost
everything they do-- Instead of their concentrating on their own self-respect, on winning approval for practical purposes, and on loving rather than on being loved.
2. The idea that certain acts are awful or wicked, and that people who perform such acts should be severely damned -- Instead of the idea that certain acts are self-defeating or antisocial, and that people who perform such acts are behaving stupidly, ignorantly, or neurotically, and would be better helped to change. People's poor behaviors do not make them rotten individuals.
3. The idea that it is horrible when things are not the way we like them to be-- Instead of the idea that it is too bad, that we would better try to change or control bad conditions so that they become more satisfactory, and, if that is not possible, we had better temporarily accept and gracefully lump their existence.
4. The idea that human misery is invariably externally caused and is forced on us by outside
people and events - Instead of the idea that neurosis is largely caused by the view that we take of unfortunate conditions.
5. The idea that if something is or may be dangerous or fearsome we should be terribly upset
and endlessly obsess about it-- Instead of the idea that one would better frankly face it and render it non-dangerous and, when that is not possible, accept the inevitable.
6. The idea that it is easier to avoid than to face life difficulties and self-responsibilities
Instead of the idea that the so-called easy way is usually much harder in the long run.
7. The idea that we absolutely need something other or stronger or greater than ourselves on
which to rely -- Instead of the idea that it is better to take the risks of thinking and acting less dependently.
8. The idea that we should be thoroughly competent, intelligent, and achieving in all possible
respects -- Instead of the idea that we would better do rather than always need to do well, and accept ourselves as quite imperfect creatures, who have general human limitations and specific
9. The idea that because something once strongly affected our life, it should indefinitely affect
it -- Instead of the idea that we can learn from our past experiences but not be overly-attached to or prejudiced by them.
10. The idea that we must have certain and perfect control over things -- Instead of the idea that the world is full of improbability and chance and that we can still enjoy life despite this.
11. The idea that human happiness can be achieved by inertia and inaction -- Instead of the idea that we tend to be happiest when we are vitally absorbed in creative pursuits, or when we are devoting ourselves to people or projects outside ourselves.
12. The idea that we have virtually no control over our emotions and that we cannot help feeling disturbed about things -- Instead of the idea that we have real control over our destructive emotions if we choose to work at changing the “musturbatory” hypotheses which we often employ to create them.
One or more of these irrational beliefs become the basis of what my coaching program called “gremlins”. Our gremlins are those little tapes that play in our head when we get triggered and/or find ourselves under stress.
I will be doing a whole podcast on Gremlins in the Fall – I will give a few ways to counteract our gremlins as to assist you on your path to maintaining passion.
So Dominic, what happens when my GREMLIN pops up again?
Yes, there will be those days, situations and people that bring out your retired GREMLIN. Be ready for this as you are “undoing” many years of having your friend in the driver’s seat of your life. I definitely found myself in these situations and still do to this day. What I have found to be helpful to keep my GREMLIN retired is to ask myself the following questions:
1. What are the circumstances or persons that bring up this part of my “old self”?
2. How did this make me feel?
3. What messages am I sending to myself when these pop up?
Just observe your answers to these questions. Do not judge yourself or your answers – just be present with them. Now insert your new mantra in these situations.
In summary, passion is the energy you bring to your purpose.By focusing every day on your purpose, you will continue to gain the skills and confidence to stay on purpose fueled by your passion.There will be times when you do not hit the mark – be kind to yourself, watch out for those gremlins and replace these messages with healthy and motivating mantras